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Principleskills

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I received my Gottman credentials because, after a long search for the best relationship tools, I discovered that The Gottman Institute is the only couples workshop backed by rigorous scientific studies and research. Its couples workshop methods really work, making it the fastest way to a happier relationship.
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“A council held regularly will help us spot family problems early and nip them in the bud; they will give each family member a feeling of worth and importance; and most of all they will assist us to be more successful and happy in our precious relationships, within the walls of our homes”.
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Couples want to know from their partner: "Will you be there for me when I've had a bad day?" "Do I come first - above friends, work, hobbies, your mother, and even yourself?" "Will you act in my best interest even when it costs you something?"
At one of my couples workshops, a man came to the realization that he had trusted and loved overtly, freely in the early years of their marriage, but, over time, trust had eroded due to what he called "the normal wear and tear" of a relationship.
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The Gottman findings are similar to the situations I encounter through my work as a couples therapist: seemingly minor behaviors are indicators of a relationship’s trajectory.
However, couples who learn new behaviors can elevate the direction of their relationship and successfully avoid the “If onlys” in their lives.
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Instead of criticism, a partner offers a complaint that focuses on a specific behavior, without blame,
using statements that express one’s own feelings and ask for a positive need or desire to be met. A person must be willing to honestly self-examine and discover what lies beneath the criticism.
Usually, a criticism is tied to a deeper need that must be understood and effectively expressed by the partner.
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This avoidance prevents couples from profoundly trusting and understanding each other. Moreover, it can lead to living on faulty assumptions or shifting expectations that later can cause deep hurt, feelings of distance and loneliness, and even feelings of betrayal.
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The Art and Science of Love is a workshop for couples in all stages of their relationship, and has been shown to achieve positive results similar to 6 months of couples therapy. Why? Because it is based on proven methods and relationship concepts. You'll go home with a package of techniques, cards, tools and tips to continually elevate your relationship.
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Tiffany and Tom sat silently at the restaurant table. They knew they needed to do something different, but forgot how to make “something” happen. After a few half-hearted attempts to start a conversation, both retreated into their phones, checking emails, scanning Facebook and Twitter. They didn’t feel they had a bad marriage.